whooosh

What a week!!
I've handed in my work,stopped going to school and so I've decided to recollect my life back with friends, and new ones, and man has it been crazy. Lets talk about the good stuff first and talk serious later. LOL

Watched the Sequel to the Transformers today!!!!!!!! AWESOMENESS TO THE MAX TIMES A THOUSAND!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!



Honestly, I'm so glad a friend booked it for us and took us to watch in limited seats for the movie. I've never watched anything in IMAX, and what a perfect movie to watch it as this transformers movie was deliberately shot with 70mm film (for IMAX), and the first time to be done that way to! I was such in awe with HOW BIG the screen was, added the whole effect of the movie etc etc that I didn't stop making these unsubtle reactions from the beginning to the end LOL... kinda embarrasing since before the movie began my friend Trin and I, both IMAX virgins, (that easily sounded like a tampex commercial gone wrong) in astonishment to the size of the screen, we reacted by making this loud "oooooh,,,,uuuuu!!" sounds which were naturally followed by the turning of at least 5 heads in front of us, and long angry stares. Hahahah.

Story wise..we all know that isn't important..hahaha
I knew how the story would end, but its still great that I could still react to every turning point in excitement - I didn't stopped going WHOO!

Another movie I'm dying to watch














Where the Wild things Are by Spike Jonze.
Been following him since he made Adaptation. another late discovery, but oh well) Truly one of the brilliant modern directors and writers out there. To bad him and Sophia Coppola divorced, as they are both my heroes. Otherwise they would've made a hell of masterpiece together say they joined their genius brains together. Or romantically, as a couple, that would be the ideal, to have a partner with the same vision. I think so.

Anyway, I love these type of movies, and I've noticed the type of movies I respond to have a great theme to them, Yes,love - but also ones with great imagination that manages to tickle my inner child. I guess I've always had a peter pan syndrome. There's something reminiscent and bittersweet about being a kid and living in your own made up world.

"An adaptation of Maurice Sendak's classic children's story, where Max, a disobedient little boy sent to bed without his supper, creates his own world--a forest inhabited by ferocious wild creatures that crown Max as their ruler". - imdb ( can't write a synopsis since i haven't watched it! ;p)

presidential election coming our way

I know I'm a total hypocrite for desperately avoiding living in my own country these many years, but let me tell you why I would still vote.

1.) Whatever change that will happen, theres only one movement that is going to favor this change which is moving progressively. Our country has been in the slums and can go far worse that what we are encountering right now. But economically we've upscaled, (although still not enough to even pay off our debt :S), and indonesia compared to other neighbouring asean countries won't be greatly affected by the reccession, and i've noticed that there are more foreigners residing in Jakarta, (though not as much as I would remember in the 90s during Suharto's reign) but this is a positive thing, meaning= investors, and investors believing in our potential.

2.) My father never pushed me to vote, but he is one of the great reasons i am rather nationalistic. Hihi.

3.) Pluralism. My family is very conservative which would mean they would chose an islamic party. I've noticed a great deal of people I've talked to during the legislative election, chose an islamic party. This is the beauty of democracy. I disagree of having the sharia h laws of islam laid down as the sole foundation of our countries laws - despite the fact that I am a muslim- because our country is NOT consisted of Muslims ONLY. There are 5 main religions that are legal in indonesia which means there should be a fair leadership that would consider the benefit and justice of ALL beliefs. Hence, I did not choose an Islamic party.

4.) The right to vote, better yet, the chance to vote.
There were 44 legislatives that could easily have scumbag written on there photos. But compare our chances with what women in saudi arabia, lebanon or our neighbouring country brunei for instance. Women do not get to vote. And yet I have this chance in my hand, as a woman, I don't think I want to throw away that easily. Compared to choosing none at all, I would still pick the lesser of 44 evils.

5.) Democracy again.
As a filmmaker wannabe, MUI's ridiculous anti-pornography bill is plain stupid. This is a typical tactic to control the society, not liberating them. Try NOT producing them at all huh?? Or why don't you try to make a system where you can brainwash the minds of ALL men??

6.) I still have hope. And I want to live in an Indonesia that I CAN LIVE IN..!!

baby, i'll miss

reality calling

crazy clocks in my house
spinning uncontrollably
break them!
throw them!
put them in the fridge!
put them in the ice tray
hope time would also freeze

reflect

I have been sleepwalking for 6 years.
Those years of my life
struggling to be present
i wake up to your name
every place i've stepped foot
the many faces i meet
my vision blurred
i'm not there

i thought i've finally had meaning
but all these memories were never mine
you can't lose what you've never had

i've told myself that i've forgotten
i only wake up to a reminder

what do you have to loose this time?

it's the final countdown

I keep reminding myself that I can't keep living like a total lost vagabond in search of something.

But, I can't believe it. I am leaving Bangkok? Really?

I feel like the words are just slipping out of my mouth. But lately its been slowly sinking in and slowly drowning me in sentimentality. I'm feel like I'm heart broken..?
All my life, any place I've been fortunate to live in, cannot compare. Why?
I have so many memories here, one of the bests- the place that gave me the chance to actually 'live'. Compared to anywhere else. How can you love a place that isn't even yours without being ridden with guilt? And wonder, what the hell are you doing, escaping and living a comfortable, though a rather lonely life, when your father has worked sick all his life for the better sake of YOU and your country??? Shouldn't you be contributing something? Instead putting all your potential in selfish pursuits?

I used to be in this position when i was going to leave Beijing for good. But i didn't love it as much, a greater part of me was looking forward for something new. I always knew i would come back. And I wasn't as sad as I am now.

A friend was leaving to Jakarta for a better job offer, and we went to the airport to drop her off. As we did she told us not to bid farewell or talk to her about comparing life here or anything cuz its going to be hard on her. She used to live in Sydney for almost 5 years, and kept repeating, the short time she's lived there, or anywhere is nothing in comparison to Bangkok. Can you imagine the magic of this place? Its insane.

I ridicule myself with optimism everyday, believing I need to be firm with my dreams.
I need to attain them. I need to learn. And I need to be with my family now then ever.
I do believe I've given my best shot. Have I?
Should I?

I hope I'll make the right choice.. help me God..

Synopsis hehe

Charlie was a timid young writer,
who was also a bit of a daydreamer.
He would daydream at any moment,
never learning to live in the current.

The day came when he felt beaten,
writing a suspense with no clever weapon,
He realized that he couldn't end,
a story where reality transcends

Frustrated to find his head blocked,
He decides to escape to his dream
where his giant block was successfully clocked
he awoke to his finished work with a gleam

Once he felt sure,
he left to see an editor
who questioned his work and threw it like dirt
and mocked him endlessly till Charlie was hurt

"How do you propose that this is possible?Murdering with a pen is ludicrously impossible!"

Charlie couldn't take this tiny critique
he followed the editor who was taking a leak
He took out his drawing pen and opened the head
and stabbed the editor until he was dead.

Charlie found himself in the editors office sitting
realizing that he had been day dreaming
he waited and wondered the editors where abouts
when suddenly a staff came rushing out

the staff told the receptionist that what he found,
the editor not breathing on the bathroom ground
Charlie in shock, stands there withdrawn,
he goes through his pocket to find his pen gone.