help the melting man

A young man melting into a puddle of himself is something you don’t see everyday, much less in a busy public square. Yet this humourous but surprisingly effective spectacle is the latest effort by the Red Cross of Argentina to raise awareness about climate change.

read.

don't we all

i wish i was closer than anything with my mom
i wish i could walk hand in hand with my dad

i want to be accepted
i want to be cherished
i want to be understood

i want to love someone and
stay in that boat
for years
the kind of boat that
doesn't bring me down
and sail away

but is it possible?

i want love thats kind
and keeps me strong
protects me like a bubble against the world
and fills my stomach warmer
than buttermilk waffles,
warmer than knitted leg warmers.
the different kind
the rainbow patterned kind

the kind that makes you smile
in your sleep
and makes you feel at home
i want to make someone smile
in their sleep

I want a love
to miss when walking in the crowd
because sometimes
its just unbearable

and it'll tell me its okay
and that we're okay
and its okay,
to be just okay.

I want to be found.

but, is it possible?

besok

one-sided monologue days

A : wow! you're a good drawer
B : drawer?
A: I meant to say, you're good at drawing.
B: Oh. Well thank you.
A: But you'd make a good drawer as well.

life and loss, one song at a time

Love is a mix tape is a groundly compelling memoir about love. In its simplest form the love for a person and life (which for this man is Music). The writer has an interesting hobby of making and collecting mix tapes as a form of diary or soundtrack to score each event, each stages of his life since he's been introduced to music. Every occasion, be it regrets, parties, breakups even mundane tasks like washing the dishes and walking the dog etc. But particularly the mix tapes he created while sharing his life with his late wife. The story falls in his journey before he met her ( an awkward self-proclaimed music geek), when he met her (she is bold, and way cooler, but music junkie nonetheless - hence soulmate), and their journey as they got married onwards . Whats interesting was they were both highly intellectual people that were also very fun. They created mix tapes of songs they both love for almost every single occasion in their life together. Each page is provokingly witty, charming and heartbreaking. It made me literally cry and laugh at each turn of the page. The writer, and narrator is a journalist for the rolling stones, which would explain all his extensive knowledge for music. But what I find special about his storytelling is his gift with words to truly make you laugh. Also his description of his feelings for his wife, before and even after he lost her, is expressed on a certain level that conveys such profound romanticism that doesn't sound sappy at all. But deep. Romanticly deep. Yet he is able to suggest hope through his pain- without making you feel like your dragged into this depressing love story you'd regret spending your money and 2 hours in the cinema for. The way the notebook would affect you (which I truly believe, is one of those movies best used in a soviet union military to torture someone into telling the truth. How : Strap them on a metal chair with chains attached on the arm, tape the mouth and eyelids up, and make them watch the movie on a projector. . voi'la.. watch them cringe in pain at how the characters died together in the movie. Then wait till the victim try to unleash themselves and cry out what they really did last Christmas. Now I'm just bitter. Bitter to the bones).

He makes you feel like, Man. What have I been doing? I wish I had that...at some point in my life.

The content of this book truly does make you feel like, everything else you've worked your whole life to is nothing as valuable as what he feels for his wife. I'm not exaggerating. You may not find alot of people actually being this loving and romantic in a marriage. And who wouldn't want that! Not that I want someone to make me mix tapes or a write a book for me. Oh no, I'm not that demanding. Well, it would be nice, but it lies on these random thoughts about her, these gestures they make for each other, in every single word that expresses how he loved and understood everything about that woman. It makes you nostalgic, and makes you dream. Who wouldn't want that kind of understanding for someone and that discovery together? Discovering you'll never grow tired, always feeling like all the time in the world is never enough. And the giant stab at the closure of the book that finds how I, am a complete tragic. Possibly even worse.

revolt

The water hitting me from the shower felt heavy as it trickled slowly down my body this morning. It is around 4 am. The shower ran under cold water yet I don't feel cold. It felt rather cathartic. It left me feeling light. Or perhaps my growing skepticism and disgust about the world I live in has left me immune to physically feel the cold. I haven't slept. I haven't traveled anywhere beyond my own apartment the entire day. But I needed to take a shower. I needed to feel clean.

glued to the screen

I HATE KEEPING UP WITH THE WORLD.

:)

"a micrometer from here" (eng sub) from amit zakai on Vimeo.

the wind - www.hellohikimori.com

Le Vent - Publicité
by Molly56

olympics opening ceremony

there's no such thing as a free meal

If ever you happen to be walking in a tall large corporate building, what comes across your mind seeing people in sharp suites rushing with big steps, looking straight overhead and leaving nothing but a distinct scent of branded perfume... the smell of success perhaps?
My immediate thought is, I would never want to be anything like them.

As I changed into a fake officer outfit for a school movie project today, I came to this very thought of how much I would resent myself if everyday I would have to come to work in a uniform alike. Then I remembered a conversation made by this guy at school about the reason why people work so hard to climb to the top of the corporate ladder. And once you're there, what happens next?
It made me think. I personally don't understand about people that are power crazy. Which is why whenever I get the chance to meet someone of authority in any field, without trying to pry, I actually ask what motivated these people to want to get there. I'm endlessly curious about what took place as the defining point in that persons life to want to persevere to the top of the world? Personal vendetta? A better life? Challenge?

There was a time I used to look at the creative field and business field as two completely opposing worlds. Like I was looking into a large aquarium glass with people in suites talking a language I don't care to understand. Little did I know I was going to be apart of both worlds. An obvious example of this irony was when one day I went to a particular bank - which happened to be regarded as a big international corporation - my 'radar' could still detect two graphic designers smoking below that gigantic building. Apparently they were working there. I still have a bit of animosity towards the objective of commercial art and that are creating it more and more into a business. But I know like they would know that unless you are unbelievably brilliant and willing to strive be idealistic at all costs- you are going to live on the street. Proving that our society and as human beings cannot function without benefiting from each other. After all, as much as a corporation benefits oneself, it does impact greatly in sustaining economic growth at large. It's like a food chain.

Which is why I believe it is impossible to completely turn your back and resent people who decide to be a part of the so called system- if you simply look at it them trying gain power and money. This system wouldn't exist without reason. And they chose that path. And as communities we do need certain leaders, we do need people who are willing to take risking that privilege to a better direction. Because if they're not the ones doing it, who will?

all i need is a pair of mom jeans

Menu yang bisa gue bikin sekarang:
* Semur Daging with kentang
* Sate panggang ( haha.. ga punya grill )
* Sup Sayur
* Bayam & jagung kuah bening
* Gado-gado..
* Fillet ikan
* Tumis Daging with paprika & soy sauce
* Perkedel kentang
* Perkedel Jagung
* acar
* Tumis buncis & jamur
* fettucini with cream
* nasi goreng 
memang kurang presentatif baik dalam bentuk dan ..rasa haha
tapi bolehlah mak, bangga sama anakmu ini...

mj's moonwalker game

Whatever the reason is for making a game of a fallen superstar still shows the magnitude of his existence.. in spite all the creepy allegations that is.. hee hee. Founded here

house of cards - Radiohead

denial isn't just a river in egypt

my best friends are getting married!?


is it just me? Or did someone tilt the structure of the solar system??

Testing-testing 123

www.flickr.com/photos/raishanurul

badass gorilla

"For years most people didn't know I wasn't yellow. Du Ke Fung means `like the wind'. It's an extremely poetic name, as opposed to this piece of shit sitting before you. So this person called Du Ke Fung with no past or parents or ID card makes the films and at night he turns back into this drunkard called Chris Doyle."

I found out he worked a lot with filmmaker Wongkarwai. I'm a little too behind.

His work:
www.chrisdoylestudio.com

i want to believe it too

God knows I've always been such a klutz. Yesterday afternoon I took money from the atm near 7/11, and rushingly, I took my money and forgot to pull out the atm card. Ofcourse, I didn't realize that. I took the bus, went to school to do some editing till late, after wards went to central till around 9 or 10 pm. Still not realizing anything wrong. Then there was a bazaar in front of the place, and it was just as i was thinking about buying new wallet did I realize my atm card was missing. I canceled buying, and called the bank to shut my account. When noone picked up I frantically started scanning the crowded ground like a total idiot..even though I already lost hope, and assumed somebody would have stole it by now I decided to go back to the atm booth where i first retrieved money that afternoon, anyway.
To my disbelief my atm card was STILL THERE!!!

adaptation

John Laroche: You know why I like plants?
Susan Orlean: Nuh uh.
John Laroche: Because they're so mutable. Adaptation is a profound process. Means you figure out how to thrive in the world.
Susan Orlean: [pause]
Yeah but it's easier for plants. I mean they have no memory. They just move on to whatever's next. With a person though, adapting is almost shameful. It's like running away.

B and I

B! says:
u start a relationship and then u fall in love
B! says:
not the other way around
rosanna says:
man why is it so complicated.. i never thought like this when i was little lol i used to believe theres one person for everyone and thats it
rosanna says:
but it turns out to be as hard as those coin games you know where you can never actually pick up the toy in side
rosanna says:
what is that thing called
rosanna says:
with the mechanical arm
B! says:
haha
B! says:
yeah i know wat u mean
B! says:
and its sucks when ur mechanical arm pics somthing u lik..but then u run out of time before u can get it into the exit slot
B! says:
haha
rosanna says:
exactly
rosanna says:
u end up wasting coins
rosanna says:
its a lie
B! says:
and sometimes u see two u like..and one u like more and end up with the one u got out....and then its like dammit
B! says:
haha

elephant girl?

Taking a break from apartment hunting on the internet, I looked for The Elephant Man on youtube last night, and stayed up till morning watching clips of the movie. Afterwards I just sat, perfectly still in front of my computer for a good 10 minutes with a million questions running through my head. I can't help thinking how tragic this story is.

It reminded me alot of this film called Mask, (not The Mask tough) this movie back in the 80s starring Cher, about this single mother trying to protect and raise her psychically deformed son as a normal kid. This boy, born with a disease that caused him to have an abnormally large head and a very misshaped face structure which looked like he was wearing a mask for trick or treating, or something, hence the title of the movie. But as the movie reveals itself you'd understand the title doesn't solely suggest the kid's physicality but it's also about the mother, and what she's struggling hard to hide from the world and her own son.

I had a discussion with my best friend, if we happen to meet someone like the elephant man, or say someone with a disease or you know they are dying, would you make a conscious effort to be nice to them? as opposed to meeting a person on a regular basis?

I know the first thing I would feel is sympathy. And even though I try to be nice to everyone I meet, I would inevitably be extra nice to that person - out of feeling fear, or feeling sorry- and I don't know if that's a good thing.

I asked her if gender would have anything to do with it. Like most movies I loved about the neglected, I always noticed these lone wolves happen to be male. It made me wonder if they were female, would the story be any different? And is it easier to sympathize for men with that situation then it is with a woman with that condition? If so, why? why is our society condemned with this sad view? and am I supposed to be angry at people's personal choices and tendencies?

I'm not trying to unearth an ugly betty situation here, and I don't know if its a bit post-feminist, but I am very curious and it's very fascinating to me. I think it's a subject matter I want to keep digging in and create into..

why do i have to desire so many things?

I wish I was some average girl who worked at a logistics company from 9 to 5. Or something.

I want to unscrew my head and put out the smoke in a fridge.

go speed racer go!

I went looking for this since they're releasing an American movie version of the series. By no means am I anticipating on watching the movie, I mean, look at the trailer!

But how damn brutal was that for a cartoon!
As a kid the only thing i noticed was
a). how ridiculously fast and annoying the dialogues were,
b). too fast i didn't understand a word of the storyline and
c). I like the monkey.
Next thing you know speed racer kicks every bad guy there is blocking his way and shoots himself to the finishing line of the race every single ending of the show. As to how he succeeds every time, truly a mystery beckoned to leave you in shock and awe.

What i did understood are the giant mouths hung open in mid-air when they are in shock. I mean its a fantastic expression. It's this giant `O`, it reminds you of those faces in a carnival game where the objective is to throw in a ball through the mouth. It happens repeatedly in the episodes even over the most irrelevant things. Or how they run in only two movements every 3 frames or something. But its an 70's anime, so its forgivable.

But how is it i didn't notice this guy brushes off other cars on the road and lets them blow up into Nagasaki bomb with ease and no guilt at all?! unbelievable! Hey dude, how about teaching children to win honestly huh?!
Come to think of it most of my favorite childhood cartoons are extremely violent. Tom and jerry for instance! goodness. That cartoon is non-stop violent.
I was thinking of showing my niece my favorite cartoons but now that I've been noticing how ridiculously heartless the stuff on tv are right now, I'm having second thoughts.

I'm scared...

This is just to say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

William Carlos Williams

erotica/you thrill me

you are who your are
and I
wouldn't want to change a thing
in spite of
all the pain that love can bring
so tell me
What can I do?

You thrill me,
surround me
You fill me
You send me,
You put me in a trance

Madonna

freaking geniouses.

oh no she didn't!

nano nano nano (rame rasanya..)

(super cool stuff and at the same time boring as hell)

When she's upset, especially at night, she doesn't just scream. She shrieks!
She shrieks this super high-pitched ultrasonic sound that I'm guessing only dogs and aliens can decode the meaning. Her entire body turns red, then a vein pops on her head. Then tears roll down. It suddenly makes you feel deep empathy. You're hopeless and it makes you sad. It's heartbreaking.

Then you play peek-a-boo with her, smile at her, kiss her stomach!
First she'll give you this half-smile, which is half her lip dragged up like she's making fun of you, then it stretches an inch, then she'll laugh without a sound, then you keep doing it and you'd find her laughing so loud sometimes her head rolls back! She breaks into this distinctive laughter I can't describe! It's a cheerful giggly rhythm that lights up the entire room and you find not only yourself, but everyone in the house laughing along.

You cradle her and sing to her till 3 am and she doesn't fall asleep, but stares at you with this confused serious glare. But when she finally does, you feel triumphant. Like you've conquered the greatest challenging reality TV race mankind had ever created.
Then you want to look at her forever.

She'd vomit on you, salivate, scratch you, kick and hit you but you don't mind at all. Just as long as she can fall sound asleep and wake up talking and giggling again. You can't wait to find out what she's going to learn in a day, or the kind of person she's going to be in later years. At the same time you don't want her to change at all.









Hey gorgeous,
bu-noy loves you so much!!

then what are we supposed to do?

Q: How does our appearance factor into the equation of falling in love?
A: This is interesting; we have found that if you are very unattractive, it can hurt you a lot in forming romantic relationships. However, being attractive doesn't help that much.


Oh. Great.

read here.

Years and years I've asked him the same question.

Part of me felt this longing to hold him, love him take away his pain and at the same time, questions filled my head. I didn't believe someone could love me, and could he love me? There was resistance. There was conflict. Turmoil. I questioned everything. Everything inside of me was restless.

Obviously both of us were very unprepared. I was a lost person. Ever the little lonely girl that was yearning for some form of stability in her life, and screaming for someone to accept her that way. I felt tired. Tired of always feeling alone in the world. So I searched for him, and I escaped. And I felt happy. Then one night as I lay in bed starring in the darkness of my room, summing up the truth did reality struck me like a jolt of lighting. My heart pumped fast. I got scared of my happiness. I was scared of losing it. And what will I become had I continued? Did I even deserve it ? who am I now to deserve any of this? I don't know my identity. I can't. Then that crazy voice whispered the truth. With it followed an intense ache hitting me from my center to the stomach.

Damn my rational subconscious, I sometimes wish you never existed.

I had to make the decision. At the same time I did not want to throw away what I have fought so hard for. Until I received the only message I would forever resent. I had to gather all my courage. I sat. I thought long. I frantically cried as I tried to write down everything I was about to say. My last sentences once and for all. As if either one was about to leave this earth for the last time. I cried about what I had, and what I'll never have.

All this time. All these years. These hours. My hours. My waiting.

My wasted years.

Could I have been right all along?
I was ready to be brave.
He wasn't. Not for me.

HEY ASSHOLE!!

.....

ultimate procrastinator

I'm comfortable here.

I am in comfort.

comfort
soft
white
clouds
giant
pillows
slow
breeze
bright
blue
skies
silence
warm

like a baby in a cradle..
zen
no
desire
to
move
talk
think
try
endless
horizon
clear
calm
safe.

somebody please slap me in the face