elephant girl?

Taking a break from apartment hunting on the internet, I looked for The Elephant Man on youtube last night, and stayed up till morning watching clips of the movie. Afterwards I just sat, perfectly still in front of my computer for a good 10 minutes with a million questions running through my head. I can't help thinking how tragic this story is.

It reminded me alot of this film called Mask, (not The Mask tough) this movie back in the 80s starring Cher, about this single mother trying to protect and raise her psychically deformed son as a normal kid. This boy, born with a disease that caused him to have an abnormally large head and a very misshaped face structure which looked like he was wearing a mask for trick or treating, or something, hence the title of the movie. But as the movie reveals itself you'd understand the title doesn't solely suggest the kid's physicality but it's also about the mother, and what she's struggling hard to hide from the world and her own son.

I had a discussion with my best friend, if we happen to meet someone like the elephant man, or say someone with a disease or you know they are dying, would you make a conscious effort to be nice to them? as opposed to meeting a person on a regular basis?

I know the first thing I would feel is sympathy. And even though I try to be nice to everyone I meet, I would inevitably be extra nice to that person - out of feeling fear, or feeling sorry- and I don't know if that's a good thing.

I asked her if gender would have anything to do with it. Like most movies I loved about the neglected, I always noticed these lone wolves happen to be male. It made me wonder if they were female, would the story be any different? And is it easier to sympathize for men with that situation then it is with a woman with that condition? If so, why? why is our society condemned with this sad view? and am I supposed to be angry at people's personal choices and tendencies?

I'm not trying to unearth an ugly betty situation here, and I don't know if its a bit post-feminist, but I am very curious and it's very fascinating to me. I think it's a subject matter I want to keep digging in and create into..