unsure.
uneasy.
unclear.

lost my identity along with my dignity that day on.

maybe i was looking for a sense of normalcy in my life.
the feeling of approval i felt, that someone like him can accept an individual as atypical as me, then maybe the whole world can.

his love runs deep

"selamat ulang tahun Noy.
Dad sore ini ke chiang mai hadiri sidang cirdap (center on integrated rural development asia pacific).
Jaga rumah krn baru besok sore pulang."

Was the content of the text message my dad sent me on my 21st birthday. Which was shocking because usually he doesn't remember birthdays. It was beyond overwhelming. Inspite everything wrong i've done in the past especially this frightening year, i've only just understood how he conveys his feelings and that the only unconditional love you can ever look for and need lies in your own home.

i'm sorry dad for being such a terrible daughter.

i'm incredibly grateful.

frankie and johnny

Johnny: Now, there's a man and a woman. He's a cook. She's a waitress. Now, they meet and they don't connect. Only, she noticed him. He could feel it. And he noticed her. And they both knew it was going to happen. They made love, and for maybe one whole night, they forgot the 10 million things that make people think, I don't love this person, I don't like this person, I don't know this- Instead, it was perfect, and they were perfect. And that's all there was to know about. Only now, she's beginning to forget all that, and pretty soon he's going to forget it too.

huh...

falling in love is like buying a lottery ticket

no matter how much of it you have,
you can never expect to win.

As of 2:50 -ish pm today my eldest sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

I still can't believe it,

I'm an AUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!